Some things just make me so sad.
In the mid-week service at school on last Wednesday, the preacher told us that there are 200 Indonesian people studying in a university in USA to get their Phd. Only one of them is a christian, the rest are moslems. And when they come back to Indonesia, they will be principals of Islamic schools. Some moslem organisation are trying hard to make Indonesia an islamic country. I have heard a few years ago that they are training youth to be Islamic army. yes, ARMY. Thay are trained to use weapons. and when the right time come, they will make a big attack. so scary. so sad.
I am so sad when i am thinking of this. What do the churches do? Some churches in Indonesia are busy with other things; the liturgies, songs, clothes, etc. Some churches are full of quarelling people. What can churches do? What can I do?
I am trying to get higher education to do more. But it’s hard to get that point. It’s even hard just to be a good christian teacher.
Last Thursday, I was having a science test in class 5.2. After a while, the class became noisy. Then one of the students asked me to discuss the answer together at that time. I said, “you know that this is a test. i will never discuss the answers during the test. That is kind of a silly question.”
Next thing happened was that the class became more noisy. One of the students said; ” Miss, i’ll give you Rp. …. (some amount of money), if you give us one answer.” Guess what? it turned out that Vincent was the one who said it. Some friends supported his idea until Alexa took out Rp 50.000 from her pocket and said “here, miss i have the money in my pocket.”
At first, i didn’t get what they were talking about because it was so noisy. But then i realized it. Yes, bribery! I was so angry. With a stern look and a very loud voice, i said “who said that? where does this idea come from? you think you can buy the answer from me? even if you give me 1 million, i will never give you the answer. Life is not only about money. …….” (i said some more other things and i hold myself from saying all the bad words). It made their faces look sour. And i know they were afraid, especially Vincent. Then a girl called Wina said “Miss, it’s just kidding, why do you make it big?” I answer her immedietly,” and it’s not a good joke. it’s not funny. and it is not about the joke, it’s your attitude.”
I was going to ask them to talk to me outside the classroom, but i thought again about it. i am not the main teacher. and i didn’t have much time in the class. after my time was up, i met the main teacher on the the way to teacher’s room and i told her what had happened. She took it seriously. She said that it comes from their family. They saw what their parents do that’s why they do the same thing. I asked her not to be angry to them again. I thought that they do not need more teachers angry to them.
The main teacher asked them to write a sorry letter to me. I didn’t ask her to do that. I didn’t even expect them to say sorry to me. I already forgave them when i walked out the classroom. I don’t blame them. I felt so sad that they get this kind of attitude and mentality from their family. But they gave the letters anyway. vincent was the last, and i put my arm around his shoulder and with a smile i told him not to do that again and that i believe he can do better things.
This is the first time for me to receive this kind of letter and i didn’t expect them to do it. I just want them to be a better person. i feel sad when i am angry in the classroom. i like seeing my students laugh and happy, but sometimes they are beyond the limit.
I know, i will never be a president or a leader in a big organisation. But i am trying to do my best in what i can do. and it’s not an easy task to do. Some of my students are not even christians, they are buddist, catholic, and having some other believes. Bringing a light and showing that Jesus is in me sometimes is not easy to do.