I am tired


I am soooooo tired of all of this sadness, travelling, coming conference, etc. But i can’t help it and being in california doesn’t help at all.

It said that God will never give us trouble more than we can bear. but this feeling of mine is so terrible, I don’t want to be in this situation at all. I think  the saying “everything that is too much is not good” is really true. I am so much in love in Newton and people there.  This is not good. I am really down now. When will I get out from this situation? This is weird, odd, tiring, sad. I wish i can skip all of this. I just want to cry and cry….

Oh…this is not me, i used to be a strong girl. but i am also so vulnerable and fragile.

It’s just a very strange feeling. I am tired…

I hope i will get up someday and smiling and say oh…everything is good…

Just being normal is not easy to do.


2 responses »

  1. i believe you will.

    all of these moments are meant to be.

    you will wake and smile one day.

    the grief is real and makes sense.

    you are a woman who appreciates order and predictability, so these days must be hard for you anyway.

    in case it helps you to know: eliza was CRANKY today and we wouldn’t have been able to visit. : )

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